Apologise
by scarlet-fever666
Summary: "Riza, please, just hold on a second!" he hollered as Riza marched down the street, pushing his shoe back on with one hand and reaching for his keys with the other. "Don't leave like this!"... Roy/Riza oneshot.


"Riza, wait!"

Riza stormed out of the front door, pulling on a woollen cardigan over a white blouse and loose trousers, tears streaming down her cheeks that shone in the moonlight. Behind her, Roy, dressed in a baggy shirt and grey tracksuit bottoms, was fumbling with a heavy coat, hair flying in all directions, one slipper halfway off his foot.

"Riza, please, just hold on a second!" he hollered as Riza marched down the street, pushing his shoe back on with one hand and reaching for his keys with the other. "Don't leave like this!" He swore angrily as he lost his balance, slamming his head into the doorframe. "God damn it, Riza, you come back here right now!"

"You do not get to tell me what to do, Mustang!" Riza yelled over her shoulder, not breaking pace for an instant. "Not now, not ever!" Behind her, Roy, having won the battle with his shoes, ran after her.

"Riza, will you just let me _explain_ –"

Riza whipped around.

"What the hell is there to explain? I _trusted_ you, Roy! After everything we've been through, everything I've dealt with! All those other women before me, I accepted them, and you _knew_ how hard I found that, but Rebecca was my _friend_. We were practically sisters, you and she were one of the very few people I thought I could trust, and then I find out the two of you were…_intimate_ and now I can barely look at the pair of you!"

Riza inhaled deeply. Roy opened his mouth to reply, but he didn't get the chance.

"I don't know what's worse! The fact that you slept together a year ago, mere _weeks_ before telling me you loved me, or that she agreed to it despite knowing exactly how I felt about you, or that you both kept it from me for a _year_, or that you decide to tell me this in casual conversation the night I move out from living with _her_ to fucking move in with _you_! Jesus, Roy, it's like you both don't have _anything_ in your stupid heads, I swear to God!"

Roy was speechless. Riza turned on her heel, lost her balance, and fell flat on her face.

"Oh, for Christ's sake," she cried, trying to push herself up and yelping in pain. Her left ankle was swelling rapidly, compressed by the sneakers she was wearing. She started to pull her shoe off, but the pain was too much to take, and she groaned in anger and agony. Roy gave her a look so pathetic that Riza wanted to beat him to death there and then with the trainer. He bent to help her up, arm outstretched.

"Don't you_ touch_ me," she hissed vehemently, and she could tell Roy was taken aback by the fury in her eyes. "Don't you ever touch me again, do you hear me? _Ever_." She wrapped her arms around her legs in the middle of the pavement. "Just leave me alone," she said, so quietly she wasn't sure that Roy had heard. Her voice broke. "I can't take you hurting me anymore, Roy, I just can't."

Roy walked away. Riza turned to watch his back as he walked to their – his house, and buried her head into the cardigan, sobbing so hard her entire body ached, not just her ankle.

Someone pulled her forcefully up, and she yelped in surprise. She tried to pull away from her mystery attacker, and was surprised to see that Roy held her in place by her arms.

"I am not walking away from this, Riza!"

"Mustang, I told you –"

"Riza, I am not giving you up for_ anything._ I finally have all of you in my life and that is not something I'm letting go, whatever you say to me."

"Roy, _let me go right now_!" Riza shouted, struggling against Roy's vice like grip.

"No!" Roy shouted right back. "I am going to make you listen to me, Riza! I wanted to tell you about Rebecca and me, we both did, I swear to God! It was a stupid night, we were drunk –"

"How the _hell_ is that an excuse?!" Riza yelled in Roy's face.

"Will you let me _finish_? It was that night we had that huge fight at the militia ball, remember, about my…antics, and you told me that – what was the exact wording? – I was a useless worm who wasn't worthy of the human species and that I could go throw myself off Central Tower, and I was upset that I had upset you, and Rebecca came over to comfort me and we got hideously drunk, and one thing led to another…"

"So…" Riza said slowly, "…you're saying this is my fault? That because I got mad at you, for what was, as I recall, a damn valid reason, you were _so_ _hurt_ by methat you jumped into bed with my best friend?!"

"What? No! That's not what I'm saying at all – Riza, I am trying to _apologise_!"

Riza stared at Roy.

"This is you _apologising_?!"

She tried to shake him off again.

"Riza, I am _not_ done!" he stressed. "Look, that was me a year ago, you remember that idiot? Who thought a bunch of flowers and some fancy words were enough to charm any girl that crossed my path? The one who didn't think about the consequences of his actions? I know now that what I did was unforgivable, and I have to deal with the aftermath of that idiot every day, but I am not that idiot anymore, because _I have you now_. You have made me an infinitely better person and that's in a few months! For crying out loud, I want to spend the rest of my life with you because I cannot wait to see how we grow together, I want a huge family of children with my hair and your eyes, and I want so badly to teach those children how to respect women and not make the mistakes their father did before he had the incredible fortune to marry the most spectacular woman in the whole of creation! I want to see what you look like with grey hair, with…with wrinkles, with those stupid glasses your grandfather wears! You think I want to stand in the street, at this time of night, yelling and waking up everyone in the neighbourhood? All I wanted for tonight was to tell you, to finally get this demon off my chest, so I could finally start enjoying the rest of my life with you!"

He took a deep breath, face red from the effort and emotion. Riza was stunned.

"Did…did you say marry?"

Roy sighed.

"Yes, Riza, I did say marry. We're moving in together, you think I was going to let you live in sin for long?" he said softly, brushing her damp fringe from her eyes.

Riza tried to think of a response, but her ankle hurt too much to concentrate, and she collapsed to the ground, pulling Roy with her.

He pulled her sneaker off, rotated her ankle as she moaned, tears still running down her face.

"I think it's a sprain," he said quietly. "It'll heal over the next few days."

She took his hand, and he looked up. He pulled her towards him and kissed her softly, hesistantly. She drew back.

"Roy," she said, gently, pushing him away softly "I... I want...wanted all those things too. But you have to understand, I've wanted those things with you for years. I've… I used to plan out these grand fantasy weddings in those nights in Ishbal where I thought we wouldn't survive to get me through. And...and Rebecca knew that," she whispered, hiccoughing slightly. "We were stuck in a collapsed bunker once and I was so scared I promised her if we got out she could be my maid of honour."

A tear slid down Roy's cheek.

"Riza…"

"I can't love you right now, Roy," Riza breathed, beginning to cry in earnest. "I so want to, you know that, but I hate you so much, and I just don't know anymore, I really don't. I know you've changed, but I…I need time. I don't even know how much. It's going to take everything to forgive you, and even more to forgive her, and now…" she moaned as another realisation hit, "and now I have nowhere to live because I can't face Rebecca and I can't face you…"

Roy put her arms around his neck, and picked her up.

"Riza," he sighed, "I never want to hurt you again. I hope you know that. Come on, I'll drive you to Fullmetal's. He'll be happy to have you stay."

Riza sobbed into his neck, holding on with all her might. She wanted to strangle him, and kiss him, and kill him, and never let him go.


End file.
